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2. |
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Am I someone broken?
I'm not so sure these days
People keep on hoping
That I will soon be ok
They say that they're worried
They say that they're afraid
Of what I'm turning into
Something grotesque that they hate
I'm turning away my own mother
I'm shutting out all my lovers
I'm hiding under my old covers
Screaming inside as I shudder
I'm turning away my own mother
I'm shutting out all my lovers
I'm hiding under my old covers
Screaming inside as I shudder
Am I progressing?
Or am I regressing?
My future actions
Left to educated guessing
I'm at the tipping point
Due to past lives owned
I find myself running away
Hurting everyone I've known
I'm turning away my own mother
I'm shutting out all my lovers
I'm hiding under my old covers
Screaming inside as I shudder
I'm turning away my own mother
I'm shutting out all my lovers
I'm hiding under my old covers
Screaming inside as I shudder
I'll return to the ones that spurned
As they yearn to let me burn
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I'm drinking alone and I'm sleeping alone tonight
But it's alright with me
I've gotten used to this
It's commonplace for me to be here with no one else here
I could call up my friends to try to talk to them
But I know truly most of them don't care about me
So I'll just fall asleep with some bourbon I bought for cheap
Dreaming for the answers to the questions of my realities
I'm drinking alone as I'm sinking alone
Then I flee to my home where I'm sleeping alone
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3. |
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4. |
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I came into this world with nothing, but an umbilical cord
Delicately caressed and embraced by the affection it could afford
My cord and wings were clipped from the hatch
As I was groomed to hold on close and latch
But I know I was destined to soar
Away from this life tied to the floor
I will be an angel
From as much as I've been shown,
Our purpose isn't set in stone
So I'll rise above the tide
Taking flight towards the lights when I glide
Away from a life tied to the floor,
I swore I was destined to soar
Yet when I ascend and fly around,
I bend my wings then hit the ground
I won't be an angel
No, I will be an angel.
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5. |
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I am dirty and ashamed
Of this gross husk that makes me feel so strange
In this life, I don't believe I can win
Without being a near faultless model 10
These impurities gnaw at my shook skin
Poison for help to make myself look thin
And I'll do what it takes to appear clean above all else
I just want to be fully satisfied with my goddamned self
Everyday I wish to be fair & lovely
I want all of the boys and girls to notice and love me
Picture perfect in state and shape,
I want to be an idol they don't constantly berate
Why be a size 8 when I should be a size 4?
I need to be a suitable size to get the looks to be adored
Longing to not be glanced at when walking in a store
Longing to not be often called a fat and ugly whore
People say I'm fine the way I am
But they don't know the stress to really understand
Having to adhere to a standard
Instilled ages ago for the ages to go
Everyday I wish to be fair & lovely
I want all of the boys and girls to notice and love me
Picture perfect in state and shape,
I want to be an idol they don't constantly berate
Everyday I wish to be fair & lovely
I want all of the boys and girls to notice and love me
Picture perfect in state and shape,
I want to be an idol they don't constantly berate
I'm doing so much only to gain so little
What's the point if it makes me even more brittle?
Beneath the surface, above, and about,
I'm not about to let them keep wearing me out
Come to think about it,
Maybe they weren't going to like me anyway
Come to think about it,
Maybe I'm actually alright and ok
Come to think about it,
Maybe they weren't going to like me anyway
Come to think about it,
Maybe I'm actually alright and ok
I'm ok.
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6. |
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Am I finally free?
Can I at present be me?
With my upward identity
Am I valued entity?
Acting and striking out on my own volition,
Selfless or selfish, I merely listen to my intuition
Gradually as I come out of my shell,
I contemplate if the actions I do ever mean well
I've lost sleep many nights
Fighting with myself over who I want to be
Wondering if people I see will like or judge me
Wondering if I could just accept and love me
At last,
I'm becoming genuinely what I've always wanted
Since in the past,
My growth's continually faltered and stunted
Decidedly,
I'll cut loose what's needed to make concessions
Yet I'll proceed,
With astute and thus heeded discretion
This time,
I will not succumb to a breakdown and fold
As I'll find,
A chance to not run, but regain control
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7. |
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I'm doing better now than I was once before
Not sulking in my sorrows much lately anymore
I've learned to take my head from underneath the sand
Now that I'm a new man, born again
I still have issues needing to be figured out
But I won't let such issues cloud me
I know I'll resolve them soon, I know I'll resolve them soon
Be it, quiet or loudly
I'm on the come-up
Now, I'm vigilant with a plan
And I'll strive to make my stand
Yelling throughout this land
That I am born again
Now, I'm vigilant with a plan
And I'll strive to make my stand
Yelling throughout this land
That I am born again
Go tell all your friends
I am born again
You will see
They will see
Now, I'm vigilant with a plan
And I'll strive to make my stand
Yelling throughout this land
That I am born again
Now, I'm vigilant with a plan
And I'll strive to make my stand
Yelling throughout this land
That I am born again
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released December 25, 2014