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We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

Hindsight

by The Shy Retirer

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lyrics

I’m still awake, wide-eyed and drained from the core
Restless through morning into late nights becoming sore
Trying to fill up the stark emptiness with stupid ploys and casual mess
Merely creating a larger void harsh and more meaningless

It seems these days I mainly stare into the faces of despair and death
Wanting to scream out for help yet mostly holding my bare breath
For as much as I want to relieve unto others every clashing strand of scared thought in my mind,
I shouldn’t expect anyone to really listen, understand, care, or have a lot the time

I’m probably better off keeping this all tucked away deep within
Dealing with a lingering absence on my own accord stretching me thin
Every week losing hindsight of those that I dearly held close
A brother, son, or lover no longer a presence but now a looming ghost

Seldom a day has progressed without ruminating on what is no longer here
Going about my usual schedule often solo running in tears
Breaking down again from how I carried my beloved friend to the grave
Living unsound fearing the memories of them will only fade

credits

released November 11, 2020

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